Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
