how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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