Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize