If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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