he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
