She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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