Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
