gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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