there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize