I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize