Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
