i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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