Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
