I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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