I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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