this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize