The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
