Can Purell be used as lube?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
