she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
