I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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