Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
