i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
