Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
