I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Girls should come with a carfax report
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
