dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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