Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
