Will you blow on my dice?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
