Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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