jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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