i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
