i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
