I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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