You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
