I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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