she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We are all done wearing pants today
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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