My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
