Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize