College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
