Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
