Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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