so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
