We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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