if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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