They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
