I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
420 ftw
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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