When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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