This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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