Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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