So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
