Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
