just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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