i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
