Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
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Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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