So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
