What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
