Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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