HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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