No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize