Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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